


Deep Breath

by TwelveForever



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 10:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11804454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwelveForever/pseuds/TwelveForever
Summary: Even a gasp of breath could mean the start of the end. One inhale and the water would enter his lungs.





	Deep Breath

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for all the mistakes in tenses. More Twelve whump because you can never have too much.

The Doctor was drowning. He was drifting beneath the water, helpless. He was trying not to breathe, his respiratory bypass taking over. But it was hard when he could feel the water start to press down on him.

 

Maybe he should count how long until he drifts away. How long can he stay conscious without breathing? How much longer after that can he stay alive? Drowning is slow but it takes time. It was panicking and numbness and slowly losing consciousness. Is this how a nightmare would play out in real life? He wanted to stay alive just a bit longer, but also, he wanted to fade away into nothingness.

 

He was trying not to panic. He was trying to stay still. He couldn't easily hold his breath when he could feel himself slowly floating downwards, helpless to the pull of gravity. It's always there even if everything feels different underwater. Sinking down is almost calming, if it wasn’t for the breathlessness he was feeling he might have even slept. If he inhales the water he’ll end up having more water than oxygen and that couldn’t ever be healthy for his lungs. Desperation started making its way down his throat. If he inhaled things would definitely get even worse. If anything could really get much worse when he was sinking lower and lower by the second.

 

It was hard. Trying to think of how to swim back up while keeping himself calm was no easy feat. The Doctor didn’t know if he even wanted to be alive. Maybe he didn’t want to die down there but it doesn’t look like he has much of a choice. Where does he find hope in a helpless situation? His mind wandered to Clara. Tamping down his panic makes him want to either scream and cry or shut down. He’s unsure if he can spare enough energy to do either.

 

How does The Doctor calm himself when he might die? He'd die and be unable to regenerate. Breathing exercises could’ve possibly helped if it wasn’t for the fact that he was underwater. Even a gasp of breath could mean the start of the end. One inhale and the water would enter his lungs. Does he think of how to survive in this situation or should he accept it? How does he live when a part of him wants to die? How does he die when a part of him wants to live?

 

Who would even miss him when he was gone? Everything in his life will always be temporary, even the people he would give his life for, no matter what. Nothing can ever last. Maybe some stay around him longer than others but they all disappear one day. Like sand pouring down his hands onto a rocky beach. Spreading out, making it impossible to collect the same exact ones as before ever again. Everything and everyone that meant something to him was either gone or somewhere he couldn’t reach or find, untouchable. It was almost like a painting or statue straight from a museum.

 

  
Is he fading into numbness? The feeling of too much and too little. Of being consumed by panic and apathy. Feeling those emotions deeply yet also like they are something far away from him. Almost as if they were happening to another person right in front of him. The Doctor could feel nausea creeping up his throat yet his mind stayed still. Shall this disappear too? Watching everything drift out of reach, bubbles floating up to meet the sky beyond the surface. How will The Doctor slip away?

 

_He takes a deep breath._


End file.
